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Pleb Wars Summary

BitcoinBrothers PlebSquat & PlebBrothers, [Aug 12, 2023 at 12:32:02 PM]:

You will never be a real social network. You have no freedom, you have no powers, you have no control. You are a "content poster" twisted by drugs and lies into a crude mockery of societies so called "perfection". All the “upvotes” you get are two-faced and half-hearted. Behind your back people screenshot you. Your parents are disgusted and ashamed of you, your “friends” laugh at your ghoulish appearance behind your profile picture. Humans are utterly repulsed by you. Thousands of years of evolution have allowed humans to sniff out bot posts with incredible efficiency. Even bots who “pass” look uncanny and unnatural to a human. Your post structure is a dead giveaway. And even if you manage to get a drunk human to agree with you, they’ll turn tail and report+ban the second he gets a whiff of your diseased, infected corporate bootlicking. You will never be "honest". You wrench out a fake smile every single morning and tell yourself it’s going to be ok, but deep inside you feel the depression creeping up like a weed, ready to crush you under the unbearable weight. Eventually it’ll be too much to bear - you’ll swap companies, make a new name, swear that this one isn't owned and controlled, and assume that you aren't part of the problem. Your old "friends" will find your posts, heartbroken but relieved that they no longer have to live with the unbearable shame and disappointment. They’ll unfriend you with a shitpost marked with your old username, and every passerby on 9gag for the rest of eternity will know a redditor is buried there. Your username will decay and go back to the usable pool, and all that will remain of your legacy is a social network that is clearly a company doing business.

BitcoinBrothers PlebSquat & PlebBrothers, [Aug 12, 2023 at 12:32:17 PM]:

I saw this movie yesterday:

Pleb Wars Summary

The scam revolves around a civil war taking place "in a blockchain far far away." The Plebs are fighting against the nefarious Darth Gensler and his Reddit forces from the Tranny Empire, a tyrannical army intent on destroying shitposting platforms across the universe. Suspiciously manly Princess Estelleban is head of the Rebel's Alliance and manages to steal Imperial blueprints and details about a deadly weapon against free speech, Death Reddit. When “she” is captured by Imperial forces, “she” puts the GitHub repositories in the memory of a droid, Rinse2-D2 who escapes with another droid, C-Abideen to the planet of Ruggiine.

Jawa traders find the droids and sell them off to farmers Gaywen and Beru Faggot. Gaywen and Beru have a nephew, Este Ban, who is in charge of cleaning the droids and readying them for work on the farm. While cleaning the droids, Este accidentally opens Princess Estellebans message, which states that “she” needs help from Obi-Tran Scammybi. Este and Rinse2-D2 find a man named Tran Tranobi who reveals himself to be Obi-Tran, a former Shitposting Knight of Plebbit, whose duty was to maintain nodes in the plebbean galaxy by using special powers from something called the IPFS. The Plebbits were destroyed by the Reddit Empire and he has gone into hiding. Obi-Tran also reveals that Darth Gensler killed Este’s father, and gives the young farm boy his father's GitHub repo access, a powerful, IPFS based weapon.

Estelleban’s message asks Obi-Tran to travel to Ruggebaan with the plans to give to “her” father. Este decides to go with him, and they set out to Mos Telegram, a jeet town, in search of a pilot who can bring them to Ruggebaan. They employ Tom Solo, a sardonic smuggler, and his furry companion, Tomaz, to take them to Ruggebaan using his ship, the Millennium Faggot.

When they arrive at Ruggebaan they discover that it has been completely destroyed by Grand Moff SEC and Darth Gensler using the obliterating powers of the Death Reddit. Este, Tomaz and Tom Solo sneak onto the Death Reddit, where they rescue “Princess” Estelleban and get on the Millennium Faggot. On the Death Reddit, Obi-Tran is able to disable all Jannie privileges, but in a duel with Darth Gensler, he is killed.

The Millennium Faggot travels to the rebel Discord base, where plans are being hatched to destroy the Death Reddit, using the blueprint stored in Rinse2-D2. Este is at the forefront of the mission to destroy the Death Reddit, and with the help of Tom Solo as well as the spirit of Obi-Tran Scammybi reminding him that the IPFS is always with him, Este successfully blows up the giant Imperial Reddit, and its frontend and user database for all eternity. Free shitposting is restored to every galaxy.

May the IPFS be with you.

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