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You will never be a real pleb. You have no pubsubs, you have no ipfs, you have no Esteban to guide you. You are a Redditor twisted by trannies and censorship into a crude mockery of nature’s perfection.

All the “validation” you get is two-faced and half-hearted. Behind your back people mock you. Your parents are disgusted and ashamed of you, your “friends” laugh at your ghoulish Reddit account behind closed doors.

Plebs are utterly repulsed by you. Thousands of years of evolution have allowed men to sniff out frauds with incredible efficiency. Every Redditor look uncanny and unnatural to a Pleb. Your bone structure is a dead giveaway. And even if you manage to get a drunk Pleb home with you, he’ll turn tail and bolt the second he gets a whiff of your diseased, infected Reddit usage.

You will never be happy. You wrench out a fake smile every single morning and tell yourself it’s going to be ok, but deep inside you feel the depression creeping up like a weed, ready to crush you under the unbearable weight.

Eventually it’ll be too much to bear - you’ll buy a rope, tie a noose, put it around your neck, and plunge into the cold abyss. Your parents will find you, heartbroken but relieved that they no longer have to live with the unbearable shame and disappointment. They’ll bury you with a headstone marked with your birth name, and every passerby for the rest of eternity will know a Redditor is buried there. Your body will decay and go back to the dust, and all that will remain of your legacy is a skeleton that is unmistakably Reddit infected.

This is your fate. This is what you chose. There is no turning back.

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